Monday, October 27, 2014

dance'n with the devil in the pale moonlight

only 5 more days away from the wickedest nite of the year...
where all H-E-double hockey stix breaks loose
ummm...let me clarify...i'm not talk'n about the midterm elections
but since we're on the subject...finish choke'n down those caramel nuggity treats by nov 4th...and VOTE bitch!

in the mean time kittens...since the the crypt keeper had a play date with
the original top 20 countdown'n crooker this year...i hadda pull out the ouija board and try and make a connection...but no such luck...so i've decided to take over the reigns as the unintentionally internationally unknown top 20 countdown hostess of my own universe...
to keep yer toes a tapp'n while dance'n with the devil in yer best whore-ish look this hallowed eve...let's begin...shall we?

come'n in at # 20...MICHAEL JACKSON
no halloween season would be complete without this zombie classic from 1982

#19...ROCKWELL
with a lil back-up help from the famous gloved one from above...this 80's jheri curl gave paranoid schizophrenics everywhere a voice

#18...EMINEM and RIHANNA
this dynamic duo sure know how to make a hit...of course it helps that one of them knew how to take a hit

#17...MARILYN MANSON
originally sung by Danny Elfmann fer the Tim Burton classic "Nightmare Before Christmas"...turned out to be a satanic masterpiece fer the devil's prodigy child

#16...CHER
before she was "dressed to kill" on her sold out tour...this raven beauty turned back time in her roller skates...ummm...that's like an ancient physical artform to the instant oatmeal generation

#15...RACHEL SWEET
best known fer sing'n the open'n theme on John Waters classic "HAIRSPRAY"...this lil kitten opened fer Bill Cosby in Vegas before she was a teenager

#14...ANNIE LENNOX
this mousketeer's masterpiece was the theme song to Bram Stroker's DRACULA...cuz blood suckers need love to ya know

#13...MADONNA
the QUEEN known fer her pop infused ballads...conjured up love fer even Lucifer's fallen angel with this haunt'n ballad

and now...a long distance dedication to a lil girl from Michigan
who sold her soul...among a few other unmentionables...just to have a career...her letter reads..."now i lay me down to sleep...i pray the lord my soul to keep...fer if i die before i wake...i pray the lord i still have hitz to make"...well lil girl...here's yer long distance dedication from that pariah of parodies...JACKIE BEAT with "GIMME ALL YOUR BLOOD"

and now...back to the countdown

come'n in at #12....FRANK N FURTER
this lil saucy number got caught up in the spider's web since the 70's and has been entertain'n the masses ever since with it's interactive applications

#11...RAMONES
theme song to the Stephen King classic bare'n the same name...these guys were responsible fer the 3 chord thrash and punk sound...this was one of their biggest hits and a constant staple in their live shows

#10...NAHPI (N AMERICAN HALLOWEEN PREVENTION INITIATIVE)
the only charity song to hit my countdown...this fairly unknown tribute benefited UNICEF in 2005...with it's patronize'n attitude towards other charity singles like "DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS"...it's considered a complete classic to the undead...gathered together by a cast of spooktacular talents like ELVIRA...BECK...PEACHES...among many others

"ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY"
 Lita Ford and Dale Bazio's love child was part of the best camp horror movie ever "ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK"...she'll drive a stake right thru yer earlobes

this middle eastern twist on a classic will surely lobotomize yer mind

#7...KATE NASH
easily mistaken as british singer LILY ALLEN...well...cuz that's who i thought it was til i researched the song...this lil number will surely rattle yer bones

#6...FRANK SINATRA
ol' blue eyes made it with the best of em back in his hay days by putt'n em under his spell with this smooth spellbind'n number
a ghoulish lil ditty that'll surely put you in a devilish mood

#4...EARTHA KITT
a multi talented performer...best known as the villainous vixen Catwoman in the original Batman series in the late 60's...she purred like no other on earth

#3...LONE JUSTICE
before song bird MARIA MCKEE broke out on her own...she fronted fer the band...who i had the pleasure to throw back goldschlagger shots on the back of her tour bus with my good friend Lisa when Maria played at First Avenue in the Minne-Apple in '96

though this chameleon was known fer a string of hits thru-out the 80's...he proved he could rock it out like the rest of em on the release of his brilliant hard edged masterpiece with a message "cheapness and beauty"

and my #1 all time fav-o-rit haunted hit...DEAD OR ALIVE
the quintessential anthem fer anything that goes bump in the nite...lead singer PETE BURNS will make you howl at the moon with his infectious voice

well...there ya have it kittens...this years top 20 ghoulish hitz from beyond
thanx fer tune'n in...well...i'm goin as E Bolla Cheerios this year...so it's time fer me to pack my hazmat suit...cuz i'm fly'n off to Oprahville in a few days to get me some tricks...who hopefully haven't burnt themselves out on treats...

so get off my dress!


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