so we’re a couple weeks away from all hell’s even'n…my fav-o-rit holidazzle celebration of them all…
i remember runn’n around in those oh so comfortable costumes with the facial masks that made you feel like you were gasp'n fer air...at six feet underground...from the good ol' yester years...with my siblings in gilmore valley...gett'n hoards of sugar from the neighbors we absolutely knew nothing about...
unlike those other store brought brands
i’ve concocted a merried of looks since then…in fact…in 1986…my grama made my very first h-weenie outfit to fit my curvaceous curves during my tender sweet 16th year as Elvira Mistress of the Dark
the follow’n year i made my very first costume as Lily Munster
my first nite out in minneapolis in '91 i went as Wednesday Addams...
when i was Ziggy Stardust i lost out to some twink as baby new year…
i’ve done the Boy George look as Leigh Bowery from the new millenium
i’ve was Boy George from the 80’s and won 200 smax…mucho better
lil red ride’n hooker at a VFW in bursville was an interest'n nite
this year though i’m think’n to skip the hot factor and go with creepy
in the meantime…i thought i’d give ya my top 10 list of the hottest...
freakiest flix to watch in the dark this season
the original HALLOWEEN...
FRIDAY the 13th
and NIGHTMARE on ELM STREET
so on with the show...
and what self respect’n freek out there
plenty of hotties to be had in this flick...especially Skeet Ulrich
apparently that rich bitch knew how to swim outta that lake years earlier…
starr'n Lance Henriksen…though he has cool green eyes
7. AMITTYVILLE HORROR (remake)
but the main reason to watch...
6. THE EXORSIST
plus...marinate'n in pea soup
5. KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE
it stars 80's B movie hunk-o-rama Grant Cramer
and when you have clowns that can kill you with cotton candy and popcorn…
4. WRONG TURN
but more importantly it stars Desmond Harrington
3. THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (remake)
plus scrumptious new comer at the time Eric Balfour (yes pleez!)
2. ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
1.ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK
and NO not cuz of her enormous hot “endorsement deals”…
i met her with my good friend Jessica and her friends back in ’94 at a trailer sign’n in anoka of all places dressed as Alex from Clockwork Orange
she loved my look compared to the other slack jaws in line drool’n over her chest like starve’n mongolian baboons
(she signed another glossy fer me and put her address on the back)
it took me 2 years after that meet’n…after Krystal Kleer was born…to get professional shots take’n…the movie came out called
"ELVIRA'S HAUNTED HILL’S"
now get off my dress!